Three questions:
1)What fears do I have about discussing Social Justice Issues?
I would not say that I have a fear about discussing Social Justice issues but rather possess an overall sense of nervousness. I enjoy discussing Social Justice with others particularly those who share the passion. I enjoy talking with people who have open minds. What I get nervous with is not being able to make my point. While this is not always bad, it can increase my nerves. Recently I found this when talking with someone on the topic of why minority students should have their own career fair. While I had great points, I could not clearly communicate the reason. I brought up many points of resources, cultural capital, failing public schools, racial/class grouping in neighborhoods, etc, but could not tie my position together nicely with a bow and felt as if I failed.
This just lets me know that I have more to learn and will never have all the answers. However, I must be able to provide valid points when challenged with a simple question that is a defense mechanism from another person. I do not fear saying the wrong thing. I do not fear being wrong. If there was a fear, it would be not talking about this within my circle of influence.
2) What are the costs of my silence?
Silence would lead me into a state of disallusion. Without talking/writing/sharing my experiences/observations I would start to be apathetic to them. I would find myself slowly not taking notice of situations and enter a state in which I am in a bubble and do not really understand the world around me. Furthermore, it would warp my interactions with other people. These interactions would not be educational with regards to social justice and diverstiy. Instead of helping people to open their eyes to see the world around them, people might instead be trying to do this to me or maybe not. I would no longer be an ally to people who need me. I would no longer feel compelled to do something about the injustices I see daily. I would no longer be an effective Student Affairs Administrator. I would not be the most effective parent, spouse, friend, etc. Silence would cause me to be a difference person wandering about clueless to how the world really is. Silence would slowly eat at me from the inside out and change my core values.
3) Do I think that I have/can have the courage to speak up? Explain how I found courage or how I can find courage.
The answer to this question depends on my situation. I am slowly finding courage in more and more areas. The hardest one to have the courage to speak up is in public when I see/hear something. The second hardest is at work. There are certain situations that are so political speaking up could make worklife a little harder. Though there are times when I speak up that it makes life easier because I develop new allies when they see that I am willing to "join the cause". I find this as I increase my confidence within an environment that I slowly test the waters and can become a strong voice in the room. I wish to have this courage in every aspect of my life and be able to speak up. I think as I move throughout life and get more experience of speaking up. The nervousness of speaking up will subside. The desire to always be "right" when I speak as to not show weakness will decrease and allow me to take more risks. I also think in public it depends on if I feel my safety is at risk and the severity of the offense. I hope that one day way down the road I can look back and say that I did what I could to make a difference and speak up rather than sitting at the end of the road thinking back on what I could've/should've done. Being a Social Justice ally is a journey.
